Racing and My Favorite Relationship

I'm sitting at home alone on a Tuesday night because my kids are with their dad tonight. I've made myself dinner, had some dessert and am now watching Netflix and literally chilling by myself. I'm still not used to being alone every other day and every other weekend. I like to have something scheduled to keep my mind from spiraling about being lonely and some super fun (sarcasm) depressing thoughts about my life and how it has turned out.

Last weekend, I went racing with my dad. It felt great to finally be back at the track after three weeks off. Seeing my girls and my other friends really made life better, easier, for me, since it wasn't my weekend with R & D. It was so ungodly hot. But racing has always been my happy place, no matter what track, what race, who we are with, as long as we are racing. 

There were years before my marriage that Dad and I were inseparable. Until last year, I had forgotten about how much fun we have together. I constantly tell R & D about all my adventures with Grandpop, but I didn't realize how much I had missed that time that we had together.

This weekend was nothing short of another fun weekend of memories with my dad. He double entered in both Super Gas and Super Pro on Saturday and Sunday. There was a lot of racing taking place and we had finally fallen into a great rythym. On Saturday, he unfortunately lost first round in both classes, losing a great race in SG and going red in SP. On Sunday, another first round loss in SG ended the .90 weekend, but he proceeded to make it to 3rd round, before losing when the 60 foot picked up and he ran out. 

I've been lucky enough to have been all over the east coast with my dad at so many different race tracks. We've met people from all over and no matter who they are, Dad and I can put a smile on their face..especially when people are confusing me as his girlfriend (gross!).

My friendship with my father has helped pull me out of some dark places. I'll admit my mental health hasn't been the best over the past almost two years. I've cried on the phone to my dad, I've yelled at him, I've laughed with him, and I've had to ask for his help, which wasn't an easy task. I've seen more love from my dad than I have in a long time. He doesn't say it, but I can feel it through his actions. When he casually boasts about my Master's degree in everyday conversation, it especailly makes me smile. 

When I'm feeling super lonely, I have to remind myself that I am so lucky to have a best friend in my father. I can only hope that one day, no matter the circumstances, my kids will want to have me as their best friend too. 

Now get off your ass and go take a hike.